I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
