I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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