idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
