some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
