I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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