Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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