hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
