Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
