your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
meet me or not, i'm out of control
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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