i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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