I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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