we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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