Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize