You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
