yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
