Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
