Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
