He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
