I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
