Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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