i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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