I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
