I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
