I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
