It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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