I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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