Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
