so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
