Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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