finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
