We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just puked most of my soul out..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
