do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
