He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
