Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Life is so much better after having sex.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
