You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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