i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
