I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
