if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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