Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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