so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
