he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
