nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
