i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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