I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize