I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize