Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i was born a porn star she said
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
