$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
