do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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