i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
