I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
