I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
