Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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