Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
