She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize