Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
