Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize