Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
