you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize