just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
