with your own penis?
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize