Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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